Over the last six months, we’ve all lost things, experiences, and people who are important to us as a direct consequence of the COVID-19 global pandemic.  This extended period of uncertainty and inconvenience is unprecedented among our lifetime, (preceded only by the era of the Spanish flu 100 years ago).  Grief describes how we’ve all been feeling: we are mourning the loss of our once familiar lifestyle and way of being.  Grief is fluid, not linear; uncomfortable, not pleasant; and sustained, not acute.  Today on Labor Day, the unofficial end of summer, grief constitutes our unsettled feelings about transitioning into another season defined by change.  We may feel anxious, sad, angry, restless, irritable, frustrated, worried, agitated or a multitude of feelings all at once.  Additionally, we may encounter difficulty concentrating or attending to responsibilities and relationships.  Summertime often provides a laid-back reprieve from our usual, hectic lives; instead, summer 2020 was fueled by universal challenges and angst. 

But if there was ever a time to enact resilience, now is the time.  Each of us must earnestly adapt to our ever changing circumstances with hopefulness.  We must process our grief by weathering the storm, not avoiding it, to develop and sustain a new way of life.  Here are some tips for how to overcome grief:

• Acknowledge your discomfort without trying to make sense of it.  (e.g. I grieve the loss of summertime traditions including travel, spending time with far away family and friends, and backyard barbeques.)
• Name the source of your grief or the type of loss you’ve experienced:
  1. Tangible Loss may be attributed to loss of employment or financial security.
  2. Loss of Freedom may be attributed to public health recommendations such as wearing a face covering in public places, social distancing, or having to self-quarantine following a positive test or potential exposure to COVID-19.
  3. Loss of Trust may be attributed to inconsistent messaging among local and federal government officials, employers, or school administrators.
  4. Loss of Safety may be attributed to disproportionate rates of COVID-19 infection among distinct populations in your community.
  5. Loss of Experiences/Traditions may be attributed to cancelling summer vacations, celebrations, large gatherings, or annual events.
  6. Individual Loss may be attributed to death of family, friends, neighbors, and/or renowned public figures.
• Seek gratitude for what you may have gained, in spite of what you have lost.  (e.g. COVID-19 has provided me the opportunity to slow down my daily pace of life, to spend even more time outdoors, and to rediscover the community where I live.)
• Seek fulfillment in familiar people and places.  (e.g. I enjoy my daily walks with the dog because they provide a sense of peace at the start and end of each day.)  
• Recognize the fluid and messy stages of grief (denial, anger, bargaining, depression/sadness, and acceptance).  (e.g. Some days I feel content, other days I feel sad and bored.)
• Remain grounded in the present, rather than preoccupied with the past or what is to come.
• Seek joy whenever, wherever, however you can and practice self-care.

All my best,

NLF

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